


I got your number. I need to make you mine.

by Adamarks



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M, Potty Humor, Tumblr Prompt, for a good time call baz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27101398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamarks/pseuds/Adamarks
Summary: I’m taking a dump at work when I see it:“For a good time call Baz8675309”“BITCH” underlined three times had an arrow pointing directly to the name.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978117
Comments: 9
Kudos: 81





	I got your number. I need to make you mine.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theflyingpeach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyingpeach/gifts).



> For the prompt “Stop calling this number” from bri (:
> 
> This is based on the song Jenny/8675309 by Tommy Tutone

I’m taking a dump at work when I see it:

  
“For a good time call Baz

8675309”

“BITCH” underlined three times had an arrow pointing directly to the name.

_That’s pretty tasteless._ I think to myself. People that go around plastering women’s phone numbers to walls while calling them bitches are real fuckwads, to the bone. I lean foreword and start trying to scratch at the paint under the writing with my thumbnail.

Baz is a bit of a cool name. Sounds like… Razz. Razzle dazzle. Give ‘em the old bazzle dazzle. Shit, this paint is not coming off. I should just carry sharpies in my pocket. (Like the fucking cunt stain that decided to write this in the first place apparently does.) (Are sharpies a common pocket item? Am I the outlier here?)

I huff and give up. I’m just gonna have to come back and fix it later.

I sigh.

Y’know, maybe I should tell her that her name’s in some random bathroom. Might be, like, useful to know.

I drop a turd and squint at the number.

I don’t think there’d be the “bitch” bit if she was an actual sex worker.

I rest my head on my hand.

Regardless, it’s not like it’d hurt anything to try.

Suddenly, my phone’s in my hand and I’m dialing.

It starts ringing and I vaguely consider if I shouldn’t be doing this while taking a shit.

Someone picks up after four rings. “Hello?”

It’s a dude’s voice.

  
I hang up.

I wasn’t expecting a hot guy to answer.

_  
Okay, um._

I call again. Immediately sent to voicemail. I call again. Same thing.

I call one more time—

  
“Yes?” He snaps.

“Oh, uh— mm— hi. Sorry. Can I talk to Baz?”

  
“I am he.”

“Oh.”

…

“And who is speaking?”

“Yeah! Uh, Simon.”

“… And why are you calling?”

“For a good ti— I mean, your number is on a bathroom stall. Hookup thing. I thought you might want to know. Also someone called you a bitch.”

I hear him sigh. He’s got a fucking voice built for phone sex; I’m panicking. Who gave this fucker the right? (Unless this is a phone sex line. I never thought I’d pay for that until now…)

He mumbles something.

“What?”

“Nothing. Would you please remove that for me?”

“Yeah, ‘course. I gotta get a sharpie.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah. Bitter ex?”

“Assumedly.”

“Gross.”

“Understatement.”

I trap my phone between my neck and shoulder as I wipe my ass and pull up my pants. “Sorry about that. I thought the bitch was a bit much.”

He hums. “A touch.”

I grab my phone again and stare at the phone number.

“At least he said you were a good time?”

He scoffs. “Small graces.”

“Still.”

I pause. He stays quiet too.

“Are you, though?”

“Am I what?”

“A good time.”

  
He hangs up.

I hit redial.


End file.
